Flowers and Figs

So afterwork on Saturday, I went to the grocery store and bought myself some flowers and figs. I needed them at that very moment. Well I didn't really know that I needed them until I saw them. The figs I had to get because they remind me of my year in the woods (I like the sound of that). In our community garden, we had a huge fig tree that I would go and pick figs and eat them as I strolled along. I never liked figs before last year, now I love them. They kind of represent all the things I loved about last year and the wonderful things I was able to learn about God's creation. The flowers were just a spontaneous buy right before I checked out. I was feeling emotionally drained and slightly down and the thought of having flowers sitting by my bed, instantly lifted my spirits..so I bought them. I love flowers. enough said.

I have an emotionally draining job. This is something i'm only beginning to truly understand. I leave work feeling raw in my emotions and completely exhausted. There is no seperating my work from who I am. Its completely intertwined, as I think it should be with what i'm doing. If I didn't leave work on Saturday evening after 80 hours of work feeling slighty heavy from it all, I think there would be something wrong with me. There is a lot of pain and sadness and rage and anger that pulses through my girls on a daily basis which in turn gets directed towards me. There's also the knowledge of knowing what these girls have gone through thus far, the things they've seen and had to experience that is completely heartbreaking. Its a lot to take in. But amongst all of that, there are so many wonderful moments of laughter and fun and love that I'm able to be apart of with my kiddos and I love that!

I know as I continue to learn more and develop in this position, i'll be able to be a little bit stronger in tough situations and leave work not only in body, but mind as well. Luckily, until I get there, I have flowers and figs.