The sweet smell of Nostalgia

So the weirdest thing happened about a week ago. I was at work attending an employee’s luncheon. The Settlement Home (where I work) is greatly supported by a network of older Austin ladies who help raise money for our kiddos and plan fun events as well. Well anyhoo, I was walking up to get some fajitas and this petite old lady walked by me. I caught a whiff of her perfume, and my eyes suddenly welled up with tears. I had to bite my lip so that a flood of tears did not come pouring out! This cute little lady looked very similar to my Memom (great-grandmother) and Aunt Ada (great-great aunt) had when they were alive. It was the smell though that suddenly brought me back to their kitchens with cookies and milk and their old purses and hats I played with as a child. I hadn't thought about them in so long and suddenly I found myself wanting to be back with them, wanting to be in their warm hugs.

Then again today a similar thing happened. I was at the hospital with one of my kiddos from work and we were playing with the therapy dogs. I saw this beautiful old golden retriever and asked its name. It was Mandy. Again, I had to hold back a flood. Growing up we had a golden retriever named Mandy. I'm all for remembering the good times, but this is getting ridiculous! My senses seem to be on overload.
In both of these moments, I apart of me wanted to return to those memories and simply be. As I was thinking about this, a new song I’ve been listening to lately popped in my head.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

Sara Groves

I don't want to leave here

I don't want to stay

It feels like pinching to me

Either way

And the places I long for the most

Are the places where I've been

They are calling out to me

Like a long lost friend

It's not about losing faith

It's not about trust

It's all about comfortable

When you move so much

And the place I was wasn't perfect

But I had found a way to live

And it wasn't milk or honey
But then neither is this

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,

I've been leaving out what it lacks

The future feels so hard,

And I wanna go back!

But the places that used to fit me,

Cannot hold the things I've learned

Those roads were closed off to me

While my back was turned!

The past is so tangible

I know it by heart

Familiar things are never easy

To discard

I was dying for some freedom

But now I hesitate to go

I am caught between the Promise

And the things I know

If it comes to quick

I may not appreciate it

Is that the reason behind all

this time and sand?

I look back on things quite often. The reasons why, the things I learned and sometimes the desire to return to past places. Although I feel more settled with each passing day here in Austin, I know there will still be moments of longing for "what once was" or at least the feelings associated with such events. But then I think how great it is to have such sweet moments in my life. Moments that were so tender and full of love. I'm happy that every now and then I can have those moments of remembrance, and intertwine my past and present journeys. Pretty cool.